“If your partner just got back from the climbing gym, do not make eye contact. Eye contact will only lead to conversation about climbing.”
You know that your partner can’t go eight hours without a sparkling water, but right now he or she won’t stop quoting John Muir. At this point, you’re losing the war. It’s time for guerrilla tactics. Try shrinking your partner’s half political, half humble-brag T-shirt that saysin the dryer until it would be tight on a toddler. It’s time to take your stand.If you’ve found yourself at a climbing gym, something has gone terribly wrong.
You need to stay focussed and keep your guard up! Do not be distracted by the man who, in this climate-controlled warehouse, is wearing a wool beanie but no shirt. When you’re forced to climb, embrace the fear. Do not let the fear turn into excitement—because it is kind of exciting, isn’t it? And, man, Decker really does make it look easy. He’s like a poet writing an ode with his body up there. God, that’s cheesy—but factual, right? Your partner is making eye contact.
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