Infertility is hard enough without comments that make it hurt worse.
Infertility: it’s embarrassing, shameful, difficult, heart-breaking, and it tends to fill us with guilt. Above all infertility is misunderstood.
Generally, people who have been untouched by infertility offer a whole gamut of “comforting” or “problem solving” words. “It will happen when you least expect it” or “you just Inevitably, someone says the thing I hate to hear the most: “Everything will work out.” I understand this can carry a ton of different meanings. It can mean that there is still a bright side to life. It can mean that you think I will get pregnant, or find a surrogate, or adopt a child. It usually means that you think I will, at some point in the future, expand our family one way or another. But the reality is that it may not work out. There is no one solution for infertility.
We may be researching adoption or surrogacy on our own or as a couple, but unless we choose to share that, it’s none of your business. Before you open your mouth, please consider the unfortunate couples and individuals out there who are dealing with this invisible grief. We don’t want your pity, or your advice, and we don’t want your opinion.
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