'I knew it was coming.'
Black daughters felt like dodging a bullet. I had been terrified of birthing a Black son. Of fiercely loving a Black boy. Of being rewarded for that bottomless love with a hole. Of having to watch his back as it walked out of my front door. Of having “the talk” with him and hating myself for it.
It’s your duty as a Black parent to deliver it. It’s not an option; it’s an obligation. Passed down from generation to generation for centuries, the talk has no script but can be recited by most. It’s a fact of Black life that white people have “discovered” in recent years. It has its own Wikipedia page. A dedicated entry on WebMD. And I thought that having a girl was equal to a hall pass — or at least a “let me tell you all about racism” rain check. A girl would be a welcome breeze.
“Hel-looooo,” I repeat a little louder. “It’s polite to speak when spoken to. Didn’t your mother teach you that?” What teachable moment was I trying to impart to my daughter and this four-foot tyrant? That Black is beautiful? That children are ready for Critical Race Theory? That I am ready to flip cars and kindergarteners should they pose a threat to mine? All of it.
The talk? More like talks, or the talk that never ends. We prep for it. We’ve spent a lifetime gathering notes. And yet, when it arrives it takes our breath away. “I wish my face was different,” Sally tells me one morning while inspecting herself in the bathroom mirror.
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