What Is the Best Pre-Sex Meal?

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What Is the Best Pre-Sex Meal?
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No, it’s not chicken parm

Does this make you horny? Photo: Brian MacDonald/Getty Images This week, the New York Post made the bold claim that chicken parm — breaded chicken breast bathed in marinara sauce and parmesan — is “NYC’s aphrodisiac of choice.”Personally, I cannot think of many meals less likely to send me into paroxysms of lust.

Others, apparently, feel differently. One woman, Carly Spiewak, a 25-year-old from Hoboken, told the Post she is constantly coming across what she called “chicken parm guys” on dating apps. Jonny Adler, a 25-year-old from Jersey City, allowed himself to be photographed enjoying chicken parm with a date, and took it a step further, describing the dish as “totally an aphrodisiac.”

It is notable that the proponents of chicken parm as a horny food seem to overwhelmingly be men, and surely scholars will take a deep look at why that is for years to come. I think it’s probably because the men in question will eat a whole lot of cheese and chicken and then use it as an excuse to lay prone while their partner does all the work, but I’m not a scientist, or from New Jersey, so I can’t say for sure.

Look, technically any meal, even chicken parm, is a pre-sex meal if you have the will and the gastrointestinal fortitude. Sometimes, in a relationship, you hump your partner even though you just ate a huge burrito and feel like a blimp, because love is about sacrifice. But when sex is the whole point of your evening, be it with your spouse or a new date, you don’t want to weigh yourself down with a whole, heavy meal that will be heaving around in your stomach later.

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