What to do about Ahav? A mother’s fight to save a Black, mentally ill 11-year-old boy in a time of a pandemic and rising racial unrest
It was a question that for Kelli had become consuming in this year of a pandemic and growing racial unrest.
The second time, he had tried to jump out of a moving car. Again, he was sent home once he was stabilized. The sixth time was for “self-injury” — another stabilization, another release — and after the seventh time, when Kelli, who was just a little taller than Ahav now, had to restrain him from throwing himself out of her bedroom window, she couldn’t bear the thought of an eighth time, so she suggested to Ahav that they work together to find another type of solution.He said that he did. “I can stay in control,” he promised.
“Hey! Are you okay?” he called, jumping out and putting a hand on Ahav’s shoulder to turn him around. The solution, she realized, if there was to be one for Ahav, would have to come from therapy, but the only therapist she could afford was one whose services were free as part of a state program and who had to work remotely because of the pandemic. Still, it was therapy, and when her phone rang one day while she was with the boys at a laundromat, she answered and smiled widely for Ahav to see.
“Hey!” Kelli shouted, pulling over. She ran around to his door. “Don’t you do that,” she said. Ahav was groaning now, clenching his still-outstretched hands into fists. “You have to figure out what coping skills you’re going to use right now,” Kelli said. Kelli was laughing when she took the phone back. “Wow,” she said. “If this backtracks on me, I’m not gonna make it. But this feels different.”
The next morning, as the first day of school began, Kelli set out his bottle of emergency tranquilizers, just in case. “Get up, get up, get up!” she began screaming. She grabbed Ahav under his arms, pulled him out of the car and forced his hands down on the trunk.
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