What we expect in moments of suffering is compassion and kindness. You may feel more comfortable giving advice or offering your perspective, but empathy is about others.
Intellectualizing when those around you are coping with deep emotional pain is not a helpful stance to take.
Imagine my husband and me taking a walk. If I were to stumble, spraining my ankle, and his first response to me was, “Next time, be more careful and maybe wear better sneakers,” you can expect me to be at the very least ticked, if not downright reactive to his ill-timed advice. I truly get that it isn’t always easy to support others when you’re afraid you might make a mistake and, in turn, hurt someone’s feelings no matter what you say. This week, I’ve struggled to find the words to console my friends and clients. However, any discomfort you may feel doesn’t let you off the hook for saying or doing something to express your humanity.I care about you, and it hurts to see you in pain. If you want company, I’d like to sit with you.
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