By the time our sons physically joined our family, they would have had — and lost — a total of four mothers. Long before their first birthdays.
” says, when a child is “separated from his mother and handed … over to strangers, he could be profoundly affected by the experience.” By denying our child’s reality, often a complex and traumatic one, we are manipulating the adoption narrative into what we would like it to be, rather than what itWhen, after so many months of waiting, I was able to hold my sons for the first time, it really was nothing less than magical.
I’ve always cherished the fact that I got to repeat the victorious mama bear ritual with each boy. No one, NO ONE, was going to have skin-to-skin contact with either boy before his “forever mom.” I was ignoring the facts, though. I may have loved and dreamt of these boys long before I knew of their existence, but I didn’t even enterorbit until they were months old, and I was not their first “mother.
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