When You Can't Forgive Your Parent

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When You Can't Forgive Your Parent
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Not receiving an apology from a parent for the hurt that they caused can leave a person stuck in anger. Here are some ways to break free.

hoping to find a way to get an apology from your parent, and it will be hard to accept that therapy will not change your family member. Realizing that you have to work on yourself, you will likely feel angry and frustrated. I once had a client say to me, “It’s so unfair that I now have to do the work when they’re the ones who messed me up.”

Keep in mind that knowing what your parents went through doesn’t mean your own experiences and emotions aren't valid. You can have understanding and compassion for themalso feel anger, resentment, and hurt for your own experiences. This is an important part of the healing process.Most of us have done something in our lives for which we feel ashamed and/or embarrassed.

“I don’t need you to agree with how I remember things; I just want you to acknowledge that regardless of how things happened, I felt hurt, sad, and abandoned. I know that you had a rough childhood too, and I’m wondering if maybe you’ve felt the same way in your life.”

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