How a bartender deals with creeps and predatory patrons
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We all know that in the world of bars and restaurants, that didn’t work. The wave of prominent chefs and restaurateurs “stepping away” in 2017, along with the public, if hollow, apologies from them — Mario Batali, Ken Friedman, Charlie Hallowell, and John Besh — screamed loud and clear,Within the space — both physical and social — that is a bar, every single person has not just theBars and restaurants are not just workplaces; they are not merely home to staff.
I’m almost always told, “Oh, yes, we’re fine, thank you,” on that first pass, and when I am, I always make sure to say, “If that changes, you ask me for a Screwdriver and I’ll take care of it, okay?”All of this can be nonverbal, too, like making eye contact with someone and flashing them a quick thumbs up. I’ve had bartenders do this for me when I’m sitting at their bar and the ubiquitous creepy drunk guy leans in a little too far.
This takes the attention off of me, lets me move away if I want to, lets me find my friends, if they’re nearby, lets me, most importantly, know that you are not on his team, you are not his friend, and that I don’t have to be afraid of you, too.It’s a sad reality of tipping culture that my income is very often tied to how much I indulge the people sitting at my bar, and some men enjoy taking advantage of that dynamic.
Because, unfortunately, even if I do have a coworker or manager to call for assistance in dealing with a troublesome guest, it may not be a realistic option. Staff-on-staff sexual harassment in restaurants is well-documented, but what isn’t often talked about is what, if anything, a guest can do if they see something going down between coworkers.
Bars are about community, and communities only thrive when all its members adhere to the same codes of conduct.
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