The age old question, answered by slutever.
In a way, I relate to that. For many years of my life, sex was largely a performance—deep throating upside down until I got lockjaw and arching my back like a budget Simone Biles. I was so concerned with whether the guy was enjoying sex that I forgot to think about me. If he didn’t leave elated, I told myself it meant I wasn’t hot enough or “good in bed” . It became difficult to untangle what I liked from the ability to provide what he liked. And, annoyingly, I can’t blame men for this.
Meanwhile, the dude was often performing some warped idea of masculinity, slapping my crotch as if sex was a never-ending Brazzers audition. Faking it, it turns out, isn’t exclusively a woman thing. I had my first orgasm with a guy at 22. After that I could get there occasionally—usually while getting head, squeezing my eyes shut, and focusing on flashbacks of gang bang porn like it was the SATs. At 27, I started dating a woman, and magically—or predictably?—cumming during sex became the norm.
After my girlfriend and I broke up a few years later, I vowed never to go back to my con artist ways. I’d occasionally slip, but faking it started to feel like smoking a cigarette after telling yourself you’re going to quit. My lez relationship was the control group in the experiment of sexual authenticity, and the results were a resounding: What the fuck are you doing?It’s no secret: Faking an orgasm is like giving your dog a treat after he tears up the sofa.
It’s also manipulative. In a way, faking it robs your partner of their sexual autonomy. While cheating is widely condemned, faking is a form of sexual deceit that’s weirdly given a pass. But if a guy faked it with me, I’d be so angry. And embarrassed, knowing he thought my ego was so fragile that he needed to lie to protect me.
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