It's easier than ever to disappear from someone's life—and it's also profoundly hurtful. Here's why.
With social media, a modern-day form of estrangement is found in ghosting.An evolutionary perspective on human social groups can help us to understand why ghosting is such a problem.Picture this: You and Teresa have been friends for years. Generally speaking, you've always liked Teresa and have felt supported by her. You always had a lot of laughs together and you felt that she had your back in the sometimes-treacherous waters of life.
So you go to text her and you immediately receive back a message saying that"this number is not available." You start to get nervous.? You quickly decide to text a mutual friend, Gisella, to see if she is seeing the same things on her end. Gisella texts you back in about 10 minutes saying this:"Actually, she's still on my Facebook and she just posted a cute picture of her new kitten this morning.
someone out of one's life is literally as easy as the push of a button. And from an evolutionary perspective, this is a problem.A few years ago, my research team published a paper demonstrating how the number of estrangements one experiences in life is strongly predictive of a broad array of negative psychological and social outcomes, including an insecurestyle, a perception of being unsupported by others, and a strong tendency to be emotionally unstable.
Before the advent of agriculture, a mere 10,000 years ago , all of our ancestors were nomads. For various reasons, nomadic groups are relatively small. Typically, such groups are capped at about 150 which, according to evolutionary cognitive psychologist Robin Dunbar , is about how many people our minds can effectively connect with on a non-superficial level.
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