These women and men have no longer just been kissed by the sun, they look like they woke up next to it after too many vodka cranberries and a taste of Jersey’s finest, airhorn-filled club music. In short: They are no longer tan, they are fully red. RHONJ
are literally blood red all over their bodies 99% of the time,” writer and podcast host Joan Summers tweeted. “Is it suntanning? Is it something to do with steroids and only eating red meat? Literally what is going on.”
Another Twitter user took to the web to give us a more childlike view. “There is every shade in a Crayola box at that table,” they, referring to a scene where all the husbands of RHONJ wives are gathering for a guy’s night out. That scene, which concluded last week’s installment, could be our ground zero if we examine it a little closer.
Eight men sit around three tables, pushed together at a local watering hole. Over the course of the scene, each man—who already entered the establishment looking like Samantha in—progressively gets redder as time goes on. But what can we attribute this to? Let’s look at the evidence. The first thing the guys do is order drinks, and on top of that, a round of shots that will be “kept comin’” as the evening descends into madness.
Over the course of the night, the vibe between the group of men devolves into chaos. As it is wont to do! We’ve seen this happen hundreds of times before in this franchise. An existing rift between members of the group triggers a verbal brawl. Suddenly, Joe Gorga and Teresa Giudice’s fiancé, Luis Ruelas, both look like they’re engaged in a war of who can look more like Bob the Tomato from’s entire cast. Blood-boiling anger does not discriminate against gender.
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