With driving and depression, it's all about countersteering.
“A rod went right through the block. Engine’s done,” said the shop technician, confirming my worst fear.
Of the nine primary criteria for Major Depressive Disorder, five are required to diagnose. In a rare feat of overachievement—at the lowest depths of my depression in the five-day-a-week clinic—I met them all: depressed mood, loss of interest/pleasure, weight loss or gain , insomnia or sleeping too much , psychomotor agitation or retardation , fatigue, feeling worthless or excessive/inappropriate guilt, and thoughts of suicide.
When Suzi’s tires were in firm contact with the ground, her handling was telepathic, but if she had a weakness—scratch that, she was perfect. If she had, say, a challenge, her electronic power steering may not have adequately conveyed to the operator the extent to which her tires had relinquished purchase from tarmac.
Some days I wake up exhausted. Go to work? I would prefer not to. But I fear if I sleep in even once, I will do it again the next day, and before I know it, I will have spun into depression. Instead, I apply a skill I learned from therapy: Opposite-to-Emotion Action. It’s eat-your-vegetables advice. When emotions encourage unhealthy actions, do the opposite. So, tired mornings start with black coffee. In this way, I countersteer away from Bartleby and depression.
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