Dear How to Do It: I believe she doesn't find the overall experience to be anything special.
So, the first thing that I think we can do is cross MSM, men who have sex with men, off of the list of creating unreasonable standards for straight men who have sex with women. I don’t think that’s a thing.I would also just like to do a general PSA : Unless something has changed with Grindr, it is not an appropriate place for cis women to be approaching people.
My thing with cis women using Grindr is a) you’re not going to get very far. You’re kind of wasting your time, b) those profiles never seem to stay up for very long, and c) if you do feel the need to take this route, then you have to behave yourself. If you’re going to enter a space that has not been designated for whatever identifying subset you belong to, then you have to kind of just sit there and wait for people to approach you.
And that’s a thing that I wish cishet men could understand more often, because take this situation, for example: So, the last time we had sex, there was plenty of foreplay, we had a flirtatious meal first, then we went somewhere quiet and there was warm up and we eased into it. We talked about what we wanted to do. And now this time, you’re just doing the things that were happening at the peak of the sexual energy and that’s not… I’m in the luteal phase of my cycle, I don’t want that.
And it’s like, no, dude, you have to be authentically yourself and sometimes you’re going to get rejected and that’s OK, that’s part of life. Be who you are. If you’re really worried about being more fun, get your cunnilingus skills from OK, to great. Take some classes, read some books.She has a medical background, so she knows what she’s talking about.
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