“Whoopsie daisy!”
Its-my-dick-in-a-box“He said, 'Mind if I hit this?' and then he pulled out a vape pen he’d hidden under the bed. My bed. Specifically for this reason.""I had sex with a guy I dated for a few months, and afterward he said, 'Your vagina is smaller than other vaginas I’ve had sex with.' I wasn’t sure if it was a compliment, criticism, or a mere observation.
This bitch dead-ass looks down at me and says, 'Mud flaps.'""'Hey, don't tell anyone about last night. I get enough shit for being vegan.' A phrase that has stuck with me for 10-plus years. Not so much 'dumb' as it is cruel.""'OK, are we done?' I guess he was too afraid to ask whether or not I came, and that was his way of doing it.
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