Women Can't End the Violence We Experience

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Women Can't End the Violence We Experience
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'They say 'Hurt people hurt people' but really, hurt MEN hurt people' JulieSLalonde ViolenceAgainstWomen

There is a photo that haunts me. Taken by photojournalist Allen McInnis on December 6, 1989, it shows a man taking down Christmas decorations. Out of focus in the foreground is a woman slumped over in a chair. The woman is dead; shot by a misogynist earlier that night in a targeted attack that took 14 women’s lives at Montreal’s École Polytechnique.

Killers write manifestos, Facebook posts and lengthy blogs detailing their misogynist motivations and we still print headlines asking, “Is hatred of women to blame?” In response to the horrifying attack in Toronto on April 23, internet assholes and armchair experts have flooded the social media feeds of feminists, telling us that women need to consider sleeping with loners and losers so that we can avoid another massacre. “These poor men are sad and lonely because no one will date them. Maybe women should throw them a bone!”

Look, I’ve never met a woman who hasn’t been rejected by a man at least once. Yes, gentlemen. Even hot women get rejected, too. And we’re not just getting rejected on individual levels. On a macro scale, we’re told to lower our expectations all the damn time. Just ask any single women who is currently dating. We’re told to be grateful for men who care about consent, call themselves feminists or raise their own kids and don’t call it babysitting.

We, as women, are truly incapable of preventing the violence inflicted on us. But trust me, we’ve tried. We’ve spent lifetimes trying to stop it. Suffragettes in the Temperance movement fought to ban alcohol so that women would be saved from beatings from their drunk husbands. Feminists in the ’70s handed out whistles hoping to ward off would-be rapists. We’ve taught self-defense on campuses and consent in schools and still, we die.

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