Emotional labor might be the next feminist issue.
describes emotional labor as being, “the manager of the household, and that being manager was a lot of thankless work. Delegating work to other people, i.e. telling him to do something he should instinctively know to do, is exhausting.” When we have to tell people to pick up the Fig Newton wrapper the kids left in the hallway that’s been sitting there for two damn days, it’s frustrating and exhausting. We could do it ourselves. But that’s, again, another form of emotional labor.
Lest you think Lacey is just doing her wifely duties, here’s what happened on a recent trip to a mega-resort that the family begged for. “They want a vacation, guess who spends days researching hotels and things to do. Then the vacation happens and no one gets out of bed in time to do anything that was meticulously planned for weeks, at their request. And they get mad when I lose it and say I’m not planning these things anymore.” They told her she was being spiteful.
Another mom, Rose , shows this when she talks about a terrible Christmas that happened before her divorce. “I remember one Christmas we had less than $5 in our account. I was waking up 12 times a night to nurse colicky 3-month-old twinstake care of my legally blind 20-month-old. I was exhausted beyond description. He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him: Just one night of sleep. Just a few hours of no interruptions so I could feel even 1% human again.
Me? I do a lot of pointing out. My husband and I have separate spheres of influence , but when it comes to Things On the Floor, he will ignore them, or step over them, or simply not notice them until I’m near tears and begging for someone, anyone but me to pick them up. That’s emotional labor. I have to delegate. I have to make the kids clean a lot of the time, which, in their minds, makes me Satan. Cue more emotional labor.suggests that emotional labor is the next feminist issue.
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