“I excused myself to squat on the floor of his bathroom and search my vagina.”
Illustration: Sarah Maxwell Sex Negative is the Cut’s series on the messy, clumsy, unromantic reality of boning.
We left the party and took a cab to his apartment, and after doing that nervous thing where you watch three scenes of a movie and pretend you’re not only there to bone, we started making out. I kept trying to reach for his dick, but each time I did, he swatted my hand away and told me to slow down. Eventually, we got into the bedroom and he took his pants off, but still seemed hesitant. No eye contact, no hands on my hips, and he wasn’t hard.
We both leapt up, turned on all the lights and started rifling through the sheets in what was, in retrospect, a very optimistic belief that the condom had fallen off. He and I eventually came to the conclusion that that wasn’t the case, at which point I excused myself to squat on the floor of his bathroom and search my vagina. After a while of poking around, I came up with nothing.
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