In newyorkerhumor, a list of your baby’s developmental milestones, from weeks one to 4,173.
Don’t be alarmed by new odors, skin blemishes known as “non-baby acne,” or patches of hair in odd places—this is all perfectly normal! Your baby might also show new verbal skills, such as stringing vowels and consonants together to form phrases, like, “This dinner sucks,” or, “I hate you, Dad,” or, “Tyler G. has an iPhone so why can’t I get one life is so unfair I wish I was never born.
Uh-oh—you might have a crabby baby this week! Be on the lookout for signs of extra fussiness, like your baby sending texts to old crushes saying, “Hey, whatever happened to us?,” or spending hours staring at photos of his college rock band and whispering to himself, “I can’t believe my twenties are over.
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