“Congratulations! Our magazine has just declared your beloved city the most livable in America, and we cannot wait to tell our millions of readers about it.”
Congratulations! Our magazine has just declared your beloved city the most livable in America, and we cannotto tell our millions of readers about it. You must be thrilled that your previously under-the-radar, midsize, relatively traffic-free haven is finally getting the recognition it deserves! It’s our unique joy to bring this fine municipality to the attention of so many unhappy New Yorkers with remote jobs and salaries that seem insane to you.
We also heard that there’s a quiet, dog-friendly beach in your neighborhood. Aren’t you excited to watch its parking lot fill up with Teslas? We also love how walkable your city is! You’ll get to take advantage of those spacious sidewalks even more once you get priced out of your current residence and have to move farther from downtown.
There’s such an abundance of available parking, a landlord would laugh in your face if you asked how much it would increase the rent to add a parking space. Let’s take a moment to marvel at this small miracle, which is actually just a normal fact of life for you. Well, at least for now it is!
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