The state of one’s yard—whether it’s the perfect yard carpet or crunchy brown mess—can reveal a lot about what’s going on inside the home, writes Kris_Frieswick
The lawn around my childhood home got only slightly less attention than the humans inside. Every weekend, my father worked on it. He pushed a roughly 1,000-pound, gas-powered mower around for hours, reseeded bare patches, vanquished dandelions, edged around the hedges and gardens with a pair of scissors, and fertilized it all with another 1,000-pound device that he pushed around for more hours.
Dad eschewed your fancy, highfalutin’, pay-for lawn maintenance companies like Lawn Doctor or Grass Wizard or Weed Vanquisher. He was all about doing it himself—or ordering my little brother to do it himself. Wrangling that yard carpet, which started life as a hay field, took fortitude, commitment and lots of sweat.
To our neighbors, our lawn was just another suburban expanse of green. But to my dad, like millions of other yard-having homeowners, it was a canvas, a psychologist’s couch, a playpen, a physical manifestation of his deepest fears and greatest joys. Our lawn was one of the few places in my father’s world where he could impose his will. Plus, it was a respite from his three children. It was a miracle he ever came inside.
Watching my dad out there year after year taught me this: A lawn can tell you an awful lot about its owner. Take, for instance, the home with the endless expanse of silky green that bears the cross-hatched pattern of the finest madras. It is beautiful, yes, a magical green dream. But a dark obsession with perfection dwells within the home’s walls. A strict fold, not scrunch, toilet-paper policy is in effect. Jeans must have a front crease. Underwear and bed sheets are ironed. Cocktail parties start at 6 p.m.
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