Tell us about your summer date disasters
My dad’s family had been going to this rinky-dink set of cabins in rural Wisconsin for generations. By the time I was a ‘tween in the 90s, they’d at least been retrofitted with electricity, but you still had to use an outhouse.
On the 3rd or 4th night, when she left the cabin again for a long time, I waited outside for her to return. She came back holding something and buried it in the sandy-mud between the cabin and boat dock. It was a creepy sight and I got scared so returned to bed and didn’t say anything when she came back in.
I hadn’t gotten mine yet, so I said we should talk to my mom. Plus, we weren’t allowed to walk into town without parental permission, so we had to talk to her anyway. My mom was really sweet but insisted we had to call Kristy’s mom to ask permission about what kind of sanitary products she was allowed to use; so we had to walk into town and use the public phone at the back of this mom-and-pop style bait shop where everyone could hear everything.
But instead, I will tell you all about That Time I Went To New Zealand And Had To Share A Room With A Furiously Masturbating Englishman Who May Or May Not Have Later Been Arrested For Murder.In 2002, I went to New Zealand. It was to be my first super-long-haul holiday in more than ten years, I’d just come out of a seriously toxic relationship and I wanted to befor a few weeks. This was pre-Facebook and “share with everyone that last shit you had because it made such a pretty shape” culture.
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