People pleasing is prioritizing the needs, wants, and desires of others over your own.
responses are associated with active measures to get you to safety, fawning is more passive and submissive.
When facing a threat, individuals may “fawn” as a way of appeasing the potential threat. Fawning includes compliance, being overly accommodating, and doing whatever it takes to avoid confrontation or “rocking the boat.” Fawning involves keeping the peace. As adults, we engage in people pleasing behaviors to help us feel more safe. But is it really people pleasing, or is it fawning? If you find yourself bending over backwards for others, being overly attentive to your partner’s needs, or feel guilty for having your needs, chances are, it’s fawning. But why do we fawn if there’s no danger or perceived threat? The primary purpose of aAs a child, a common example of avoiding conflict is not acting out.
However, if a child has an age-appropriate temper tantrum, and it is reciprocated with being hit, yelled at, or neglected/ignored, it could cause serious emotional harm to that child. And feeling emotionally insecure does feel safe for a child—a child cannot survive on its own. If the child learns that “being the good child” or “the one who is always okay” results in less conflict, it may carry with them into adulthood. in certain situations where it’s not necessary.
If you had a parent who punished you if you didn’t do things the way they wanted, it would affect your well-being. For example, if you had a mother who would “ice you out” if you didn’t constantly validate or comfort them, that would impact your needs. If you didn’t act like your mother’s best friend, it may have resulted in you not getting lunch that day. You feel ignored, dismissed, and not seen.
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