DearPrudie: I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this.
For five years now, we have been unsuccessfully trying to have a baby, which would be the first child for both of us. Having a biological connection to a child is important to me, as I was a “dropped at a fire station baby” and never have been able to find any biological relatives—no sisters, brothers, grandparents or mom and dad. I was adopted from birth by an incredibly abusive religious family.
I haven’t raised this with my husband, but I understand how important culture is. I worry if my Black husband is raising white babies, he’ll miss out on his children ever being able to fully understand and be a part of his culture and identity as a Black man. I know my husband will still be able to connect to his kids of course, but I would feel bad, like he is missing out on sharing a very important cultural identity that as a white person I cannot experience.
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