If you don’t have a green thumb, this is for you
Photo: Per Magnus Persson/Getty Images/Johner RF Only once I’d lived in New York for several years did it occur to me to acquire indoor plants, and even then it was mostly a result of peer pressure. When I moved from the Lower East Side to Brooklyn, a friend bought me a housewarming succulent, and I became so obsessed with the way it looked in my window that I watered it to death.
The problem was that I am very lazy, and I don’t have a car, and I didn’t want to walk to a plant store and buy a plant and a planter and carry them back to my apartment and then go buy a bag of dirt and carry that back and put the dirt in the planter and sweep up the spilled dirt and then do it all over again if I wanted more than one plant in my home, which I did. With plants it seems like you have to go jungle or bust — having just one or two makes them look effortful and out of place.
It was in that story that I found my future plant consultant, Maryah Greene, who runs a plant consultancy called Greene Piece. We set up an initial consultation, during which Greene came to my house, looked at the plants I had, considered my lighting, and talked to me about my budget and some options within it.
For some reason I feel an impulse to apologize for hiring someone to help me pick out plants, because I know it’s a task I could do, and because it was first presented to me as something lol-millennials do.
Part of my plant consultant’s services are to answer my panicked plant questions for a number of months after purchase, and so far I have availed myself of this option just once: I sent her a photo of my monstera, which to me looked somehow unsatisfied, its stems no longer neat but flung in every direction. I was worried, but Greene wrote back to say she thinks it looks pretty happy, and is probably just stretching . Ah, I love her. Both the plant consultant and the monstera.
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