I felt judged for having drug-free births—
Even Michaels’ family was quiet over her decision. “They didn’t want to know a lot about it,” she says. “They didn’t want to question it or get involved at all, and they quietly prayed that it would all work out.”
“She was freaked out by the entire situation and didn’t quite understand how I had a baby at home,” explains Mills, who called her midwife to support her and speak to the doctor. “I really had to advocate for myself. I didn’t want to be hospitalized because of something that wasn’t really an issue.” In the end, Mills managed to breastfeed her baby successfully without hospital intervention.
These days, Mills keeps quiet in certain company about how her babies entered the world. “I’ve shared how my births went,” she says, “and then felt like I wasn’t supposed to—almost like they went too well, which is weird.” Instead of having a network of support and camaraderie, women who choose “alternative births” can feel relegated to a corner where they’re perceived as clueless to the real hardships of labour, irresponsible for not taking the potential risks of birth seriously and even bragging about the impossible “positive” birthing experience.
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