July is Bereaved Parents Month.
But we the bereaved still don’t feel nearly seen enough.
Though we are different, we are still us… just a bit more rusty around the edges for a time. After the initial grieving stages have passed, we still long for our friendships and other relationships to see us through the toughest days ahead. And if they are nowhere to be found when we are ready, it hurts, it’s noticed, and it will always be remembered.Carrie Stafford, Colorado mother of four, says she feels like others see her differently since the death of her one year old son Bryce.
“I just have to remind them I didn’t choose to live like this, and I had to push through it,” she says.“Sometimes it really hurts deep down that [Bryce] is forgotten and the harsh reality sets in once again that he should be here to share [everyday moments] with us, but he’s not,” Stafford says. “I wish people would just relax and open up with me and my loss. After all, I’m the one living daily with it, not them,” Hartley Geyer, bereaved mother of twin boys Maverick and Milo, tells Scary Mommy.While everyone else’s life moves on after the funeral, for the bereaved parents, their new life is just beginning. For a time, their very being will be consumed by this forever-defining day.
From that moment on, at a mere three weeks following my daughter’s death, I’ve felt this world’s harsh and expected timeline of my grief. But the truth of the matter is, the bereaved parent“I’m never going to be done grieving because my love for my son Bryce is SO BIG and my connection SO DEEP.” — Stafford.
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