If we press down on our embarrassment by actually envisioning the things we’re afraid might happen — the truly worst-case scenarios — they’re usually not so bad
Photo: Shuji Kobayashi/Getty Images There’s something I’d like to try, although it has a fairly high chance of not working out, which I imagine would cause me to feel stupid, awkward/foolish, rejected, and out of step with social cues. Maybe the timing will be better later, but until then, I don’t do it. And probably that’s smart, or maybe not, I don’t know.
A recent essay on Psychology Today makes me think I should just do this thing. The story is about our fear of embarrassment, and how it — more than our fear of failure — is generally what inhibits us. But if we press down on our embarrassment by actually envisioning the things we’re afraid might happen — the truly worst-case scenarios — they’re usually not so bad. And even if they did happen, it would probably be useful and interesting. The visual it gives me is of breaking through paper walls.
It’s all easier said than done, but I like this way of thinking. I also like the author Marty Nemko’s straightforward summary of some common things we avoid doing and why:For fear of sounding awkward, not asking someone for a date. Life is short, and there are worse things than looking foolish, feeling rejected, and being laughed at.
Fantasizing about embarrassment also reminds me of the “20 seconds of courage” concept, which is a little cheesy and which I learned about in an exercise context , but which applies everywhere: You don’t need courage all the time, you just need it for 20 seconds to flick something into motion.
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