“Wait, am I the client or therapist?”
“Holy shit, this is the baby I gave up for adoption.”
They may never reveal this, and if they do, it’ll be after they determine you’re not as fucked up as your weekly sessions make you seem.“Looks like I’m missing the 4:30 Jungle Cruise.”you’d be too emotionally overwhelmed to finish your session, and now they’re looking at the 7:15 show.”“I hope he doesn’t realize I’ve been secretly using all this information to ruin his life even more.”“I hope he doesn’t realize I’ve been secretly using all this information to ruin his life even more.
Though outwardly appearing present, your therapist is incessantly quoting the 2006 Will Ferrell vehicle“I have value. People care about me and like me.”Repeating positive affirmations is a great way for therapists to cheer themselves up about the seeming pointlessness of their lives while some nobody drones on about how their boss doesn’t respect them.“This person is so deep and complicated, what a unique challenge for me to unlock this enigmatic soul.
What kind of art preservationist thinks they can just paint whatever the hell they want over the original painting? Can you really blame your therapist for still being baffled by this?“Should I say something about the black widow spider sitting on the center of his nose?”“Should I say something about the black widow spider sitting on the center of his nose?”AdvertisementThe Best Way To Work Their Postmates Referral Code Into The...
Literally any mention of food would be the perfect way to gain $25 in online credit, but your therapist isn’t afraid to flat-out bring up your eating disorder again if there isn’t a good in soon.
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