How to tell whether someone is being truly vulnerable or strategically opening up to manipulate others, writes DrErinLeonard
A person who advertises adversity from the past in order to re-direct attention onto himself may also be manipulating. Vulnerability requires a person to open up about uncomfortable emotions that are difficult and deeply personal. Outside of activism or group, an attempt to safeguard the information by solely talking to one or two trusted confidants is typical. A person who broadcasts a prior tribulation only to attract attention may be playing the victim.
Authentic vulnerability involves disclosing uncomfortable and difficult emotions which are painful to admit. It often involves accountability, empathy for others, and self-awareness. It also allows a loved one to understand and validate a tender spot in someone’s soul. This creates closeness, trust, and intimacy. A partner who illuminates a past trauma to inflict guilt, excuse a hurtful act, or re-route attention to himself may be narcissistic and less able to be truly vulnerable.
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