'One of the hardest things about loving someone with chronic illness is not being in the real battle with them — not being able to lend energy, immunity, not being able to take any of the pain,' cameronesposito shares.
One of the first things I saw Katy do was fight for her life. This was after she’d seen me begin navigating a divorce, after we’d traveled together internationally for my job, and after I’d seen her slinging calls at hers. I loved that, as a book agent, she had an assistant she treated very kindly and wore a headset to take the myriad calls that came in each day. She looked like a boss. A good boss. One of those bosses that gets you something surprisingly personal for your birthday.
After several hours on the phone with her insurance company, and advocacy by her doctors and workplace, she was transferred via ambulance and admitted to a third hospital, one I’d never heard of despite eight years living in LA. After three days of confusion and irregular, apathetic contact with doctors , a nurse pulled me aside and said, “We don’t have the capacity to treat her here.
In late 2019, Katy was headhunted for a job as an editor with a mandate to acquire queer books at her dream publisher, a job she could work remotely from Los Angeles. It seemed like the universe’s answer to the newish problem of our long-distance relationship. I say newish because at our relationship’s start, the distance is part of what made things work; I needed time to attend to the process of divorce and take space for myself without relying on a new partner as my primary support system.
It was me who followed the ambulance, who was sent home because possible COVID-19 patients can’t have visitors, and who was told not to call the hospital but to FaceTime Katy for updates instead. But it wasn’t me who was transferred via ambulance, taken into the COVID-19 ward at that ER, who fought for a test as a high risk patient before being discharged with a presumed COVID-19 diagnosis because, according to her doctors, it was safer at home than at the hospital. That was Katy.
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